Hey everyone.
It’s getting late, I should be asleep. Well, nearly asleep. Around this time is when Siri and I go to sleep. Tonight’s the second night of this week we haven’t fallen asleep together. It saddens me, really. Sunday night I forgot my charger atLeigh’s and my mom was like “You need to conserve your battery, so turn off your cell.” Blah, so I did. I was knocked out by my sleep meds but he said he didn’t go to bed until 3a. =[ Then, today: my mom heard me up talking to Siri last night and I couldn't wake up this morning or something so it's obvious that my staying up late was the culprit. Her solution is to take away my cellphone at night. GROOOOOOVY. I felt like crying.
Tonight, I really noticed how much I love Siri. I'm up late, can't sleep, and all I can think about is him. How much I want him beside me, how much I want to feel him, how much I want to be with him.
All of my other boyfriends [and girlfriends, believe it or not] have been 99% lust, 1% love. We should’ve been saying “I lust you” instead of “I love you.” Love is a strong word, and, gradually and albeit roughly, I’ve learned that. My last boyfriend cheated on me eight or more times [yes, I know, I'm stupid] but I lusted him so much that *wanted* it to work out.
Siri’s different. My first thought when I talk to him isn’t “OHH! Let’s fuck!” it’s more like “I love you.” Notice the rather stark difference in the two. =] I’ve never loved anyone like Siri. Ever.
My relationship with Siri has almost made me a virgin all over again. I’ve had so many firsts with Siri, it’s amazing. My first time feeling real love. Feeling über jealous [yeah... I know... I'm not perfect... Scareh]. Feeling empty without him. Feeling scared for him.
My last boyfriend and I talked on the telephone maybe eight times the almost *year* we went out. That would be less than once a month, if you count the ENTIRE year. It’s been almost a month, we’ve talked 24 out of 24 days. Even tonight and Sunday night. Everytime I talk to him, I get a rush of emotions. Love, nervousness, “happiness.” *coughs*
As mentioned a second ago, we’re about to have our one month anniversary. Friday, to be exact. Today, he was like “Y’know what Friday is?” and I was like “Anniversary?” He remembered. I was smiling so much. I don’t even know why. I guess it was how excited I was about him actually remembering our anniversary [since I've "reminded" him about the other 3. ^_~] or the fact he was the first boyfriend to ever remember an anniversary. Christina was the only person who remembered our anniversaries, just to throw that in there.
*sighs with happiness* He’s just amazing. In every way possible. He makes me happy. He makes me want to keep going. Isn’t it great when your friends notice your change in attitude? Mine have. Well, my sista, Mary, has. XD She said she noticed my being more happy and optimistic [Mary: right? >.>] after Siri and I began our relationship. I haven’t said this the way it was ment to be said before we were together: I love you, Sirius.
It’s really getting late. So, I guess I’m going to try to go to sleep without Siri. I haven’t taken my meds, but it’s too late. I’ll wake up more groggy than normal. I hope he sleeps okay tonight. =/
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MAAAAAARY!
Ich liebe dich, Sirius. Auf weidersen.
<333!Logan[is_in_love]
